I came to a realization kind of like this during a Relief Society lesson my freshman year of college. I remember making a comment that once I got married I wasn't going to be magically better at keeping things clean and cooking great meals. I don't remember having that thought before the lesson began, but I feel like that comment I made was for me. It was the first time I realized that I was going to be the same person before and after I got married.
I had a similar wake-up call from my sister, Emily, when she told me that I could be good at housework if I tried. I was complaining about how hard it was going to be to be in charge of the the house when Matt and I switched roles. I had been the breadwinner for almost two years and Matt was in charge of cooking and cleaning while he was in school. I was looking forward to not working, but dreading taking on the responsibility of being the homemaker. I knew I would be horrible at it. Matt and I even talked about having him stay home and me go to work, just because we thought it would be nicer for both of us. Matt would rather stay home anyway. I'm the one who wants the social interaction that an occupation provides. Anyway... in the last month or so (over three and a half years after getting married) I have become a homemaker. For real. It's sticking! But it didn't just happen. I made it happen. I make it happen everyday. I guess that's what was holding me back before--the consistency. Well, no longer. I turned over a new leaf--a domestic one. That led to turning over more leaves--a financial one, a social one, and this blog is kind of my new spiritual leaf. I am making a better effort to spend some time everyday doing something spiritual. Now if I want it to be a permanent change, I have to make it happen. This is a great concept. Thanks Elder Ashton!
wow becky. it's taken and is taking me seven years of marriage to become a homemaker. i still don't do everything i want to do every day every day, but i don't let it get as unmanageable as often, so i must be doing something right. i think one of the many wiles i fall prey to is the attitude that i can't make the changes i want. that because my house is a mess all the time, there's nothing i can do to change it. which obviously isn't true. and when i do finally get myself going and make the changes i want, like finally vacuuming or whatever, it's really empowering, as if i've just reminded myself that i do have the power to do what i want. so why do i abdicate so often?
ReplyDeleteanyway i'm proud of you for doing this blog. :)
Insightful. It's interesting that this is the Lord's plan: for women to be in charge of the home. It might be more natural for women to be nurturing than it is for men, but that doesn't mean women like to cook and clean--many don't, it seems. I'm always grateful when I come home to a clean house--I don't take it for granted--I see it as a sacrifice by Hailey.
ReplyDelete